How Introverts Avoid Small Talk And Speak Smartly
I think small talk can be a tough challenge for introverts. They usually prefer deep and meaningful conversations, but in many social situations, small talk becomes inevitable.
However, with some tricks, you can smartly avoid small talk and move on to deeper and more meaningful conversations.
In this guide, we will look at how introverts can avoid small talk and talk smartly and build social connections in a way that is comfortable for them.
1. Start ‘deep talk’ instead of small talk
Small talk is usually about the weather, news, traffic, or everyday trivial matters. But introverts are usually not interested in such discussions.
So instead of small talk, you can start ‘deep talk’ or deep discussions.
How to do it?
Instead of simple, cliché questions, ask thought-provoking questions.
Simple small talk:
“How are you?”
“How’s the weather today?”
“What do you do?”
Deep talk:
“Have you learned anything recently that has changed your life?”
“What are you most interested in?”
“What was the best moment of your life?”
Questions like these make people think and they respond with more interest. Small talk naturally turns into deep talk.
2. Avoid 'no-context' small talk and bring up your own interests
One of the problems with small talk is that it’s usually irrelevant and cold. Introverts can easily get involved in the conversation if they talk about something that interests them.
How to do it?
If someone says, “The weather is beautiful today, isn’t it?”, you can redirect it to your own interests without giving a direct answer.
Simple answer:
“Yes, the weather is nice today.”
“Yes, it’s beautiful! I usually like rain because it’s different to read books. How do you like to spend your time?”
This will help the conversation move towards your interests and the other person will continue to talk naturally.
3. Answer smartly and continue the discussion
Introverts often give short answers, which can cause the conversation to end quickly. So give a little personal touch when answering, so that the discussion moves forward.
How to do it?
Simple short answers:
“How are you?” → “I’m fine.”
“What do you do?” → “I’m studying.”
Smart answers:
“How are you?” → “I’m fine! I read an amazing book today, it was very inspiring!”
“What do you do?” → “I’m studying, and I’m also learning about digital marketing.”
This will make the person in front of you interested in your answer and the discussion will move forward easily.
4. Add light humor
Many introverts have a great sense of humor. Adding light humor to a conversation makes it more natural and lively.
How to do it?
You can add a funny experience or joke to your conversation.
Example:
“I’m such an introvert that when I get a phone call, it feels like the biggest war in the world has started!”
“When I go to a party, I go to a corner and think – what’s the way out?”
This will make others take you more naturally and easily and will be more interested in the conversation.
5. Focus more on asking questions than talking
Introverts are usually good listeners. So, instead of small talk, it can be a great strategy to keep the conversation going by asking questions.
How to do it?
Instead of general questions, ask questions that help the person talk about themselves.
Example:
“Where do you like to travel the most?”
“What are you most interested in?”
“What has happened in your life that has changed you?”
When you ask, the other person will speak, and you can easily move the conversation forward.
6. Smart Ways to End Small Talk
Sometimes small talk can get long, which can be tiring for introverts. How do you end a conversation smartly?
Strategy:
Bring up an alternative topic:
“It was nice talking about this! But I’m going to do something now, I’ll talk to you later.”
Connect the other person with someone new:
“You know, my friend (so-and-so) knows a lot about this! You can talk to him.”
End the conversation with a thank you:
“It was nice talking to you! I have to do some work, see you later!”
This will help you end the conversation naturally, and it will also be more relaxing for the other person.
7. Focus on activities instead of talking
Sometimes introverts prefer to do something else instead of talking, especially if they are in a public place, where excessive conversation can tire them out.
In this situation, focusing on an activity instead of talking can be a very effective strategy.
How to do it?
Serving food or getting food from a buffet: If you are attending a party or social gathering, you can be busy choosing and arranging the food.
This relieves you from the pressure of talking to others and you can easily join in if there is a chat.
Using a smartphone or gadget: If you do not have the courage to speak at a meeting or party, you can do something creative like taking pictures on your smartphone, taking notes or learning something new.
This will divert your attention and allow you to be yourself.
Establish that you are busy with extras or work: If you do not want to talk too much at the party, sometimes you can show your friends that you are busy with something great.
This will prevent anyone from bothering you and you will feel comfortable.
8. Use attention-grabbing answers
Introverts often give straightforward and short answers when participating in small talk. But when you give attention-grabbing and relevant answers, your discussion becomes much more interesting and the other person is also interested in it.
How to do it?
Avoid the generic answer and be specific: When someone asks about you, instead of saying the usual “I’m fine” or “I’m studying,” say something specific and interesting.
For example,
“I’m studying and working in digital marketing. I’m learning something new every day about new ways of doing business!”
By giving this kind of answer, the conversation will easily become interesting and others will think you have something interesting and educational to talk about.
Share your experience or interest: “I’ve recently been reading a new book that changed my mind.”
This kind of statement can attract others and help create a more serious conversation.
9. Be interested in getting to know others without worrying too much about yourself
Many introverts feel a little uncomfortable talking about themselves in social situations.
They never think that their life or experiences are interesting to others. However, when you show an interest in learning about others, the conversation becomes much easier and more lively.
How to do it?
Ask questions about other people’s experiences: You can learn from them, and they will tell you everything on their own.
“How did you choose your current profession?”
“What is the most memorable moment in your life?”
“How did you get to where you are now?”
These types of questions will keep the other person talking, and you can play the role of a listener.
Find out about their hobbies or interests:
“What kind of books do you like to read?”
“Where is your favorite vacation destination?”
With such questions, you can easily learn about the other person’s interests, which will later create opportunities for deeper conversation.
10. End the conversation smartly
Sometimes small talk can be tiring, and you may need to leave quickly.
However, there is a smart way to end the conversation that you can apply, so that there is no insult and the situation does not become uncomfortable.
How to do it?
End the conversation with politeness and kindness:
“Thanks, it was nice talking about this! But now I’m going to do some work, see you later!”
This will allow you to end the conversation respectfully and move on without making it uncomfortable.
Give the other person a chance to say something more politely:
“This conversation was great! But I’m really going to do some work, if you feel like you need anything, I’ll talk to you later!”
This will allow you to gently end the conversation, and the other person will understand that it is time to end the conversation.
Even if you don’t have anything new to say, share some content that you like:
“I saw a great video today, I’ll send you a link!”
Even if it ends the conversation, you can end it smartly and share more that will deepen the relationship.
In short:
Have deep talk instead of small talk.
Talk about topics of interest.
Increase the conversation without giving short answers.
Add light humor.
Ask more questions.
End the conversation smartly.
It is possible for introverts to avoid small talk and talk smartly, if you know the right strategies.
Have deep talk, ask questions, add humor and end the conversation smartly, these 10 ways will help you establish more orderly social connections. Go here to read more about such topics.
- Category : Relationships
- Author : Tuhin Bin Alamgir
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